I am 4 days away from the date that resulted in a loss of 4-5 feet of intestines. For the last month or so, I’ve been eating a jar or two of pickled beets per week. Sometimes, I eat a jar in one day. WHY?

I do not eat breakfast. I have water. I do not eat lunch during the week. I have water. If I feel like I will not survive, I will go to McDonald’s and get an oatmeal for lunch. That may happen once a month. During the week when I get home from work I have dinner with my family if my guts feel tame. If not, I have a banana, peanut butter and rice milk smoothie. I drink a lot of smoothies because my guts have been angry for 361 days.

On Saturday and Sunday, I have a cup of coffee. I know this angers the Crohn’s beast but I am miserable anyway. I sometimes will eat normal food too because I know I can stay in the house the entire weekend. It seems like my food intake combined with vitamin supplement would be enough but for some wicked reason, I crave pickled beets. Not only do I eat the beets, I drink the juice like it’s my job.

If I liked beets I would probably not write about it. What puzzles me most is that I do not like beets. I usually cough after drinking the juice because it takes my breath away. However, I feel like it is something I need to do. If I ignore this craving I can’t stop thinking about how it would just go away if I would eat the damn beets.

So gross.